A Pirate's Life for Me?

Sometimes the best thing to do is to sell everything you own and just hit the road. You know, break free from this thing that you call "your life". I'm feeling just like that, and I think I may have found just the ticket: Working on a Cruise ship as an acupuncturist...

The Pro's:
No rent, no utilities, no food costs, free gym access, the open ocean (good for a Pisces like myself), world travel, and the chance to amass some major cash.

The Con's:
Loooonnnng hours, no land, a finite sized ship, old people, and an increased risk of meeting Barry Mannilow.

I'm checking it out as an option. Stay tuned, maybe my new posts will be via the oceans of the world.

The Virtues of a Well Educated Dog

I was taking the dog, Jazzy, for a walk up on Mt. Tabor one sunny morning when this fellow came up to me and strikes up this conversation:

(Mr. Slackjaw Simpleton): Hi, that's a nice doggy.
(Me:) Yep, he's a good boy, a bit rowdy at times, but a good boy none the less.
[pause... Mr. S is slack jawed, no doubt waiting for his new Vista OS to reboot]
(Mr S.): Oh. Is he tutored?
(Me - ponderous for a moment:) Why yes, in the classics.
(Mr S.): ?
(Me:) Yes, we just finished Shakespeare.
(Mr S.): Uh...
(Me): His favorite was the "Merchant of Venison", of course.
(Mr S.): Uh...
(Me): Well, Beowulf awaits, gotta go!
Mr S. Drool and a bit of steam from the ears.

Yes, I am an evil bastard and my tolerance for stupid people has not improved.

My Other Blog

My Absence aside, I have been a busy, busy boy. I've just started my new blog on a subject near and dear to everyone's heart, improving gas mileage and saving money on gas. Its called Gas Pump Wars. Check it out!

Branching out

Call it a bit of foolishness, but I've actually gone on MySpace. Its a bit of a dreadful place, akin to a pioneer town or something - very little rule or order. So sex spammers rub elbows with world leaders (not unlike the real world I suppose...). I have managed to meet up with some old High School friends I wonder what ever happened to.

MySpace Profile is here, should you want to enter that hive of scum and villainy.

The Cutiest Nephew ever!

This is my nephew, Shane. He enjoys sleeping, eating, and going in his diapers. He totally rules.

Finally, I can post again!!!

Sorry, no posts recently, but I've been having one hell of a time posting to blogger. Something was screwy with my profile.

So, here I am again.

My neice has arrived.

I am very proud to announce the birth of my niece, Sasha who was born on May 15th, 2007 at 8:03 pm. She weighs in at 7 lb, 12 oz. She's a really cutie!

While she's isn't my niece in the true biological sense, I have been officially designated as her uncle. I suppose in a more traditional setting I might her Godfather. I have been preparing for that possible event as well by running around with orange slices in my mouth.